words in movies
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Carol: (answering the door) Hi!
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Carol: Sooo!! Anyway...
Carol: Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Carol: Oh, great! Me too.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Carol: You slept with another woman?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Carol: Ahh, nooo!!
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
Carol: Okay, bye!!
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Carol: So.
Carol: A lesbian?
Carol: I'm pregnant.
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Carol: Thanks.
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Carol: Marlon-
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Carol: Julia..
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Carol: I know.
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Carol: Anytime you're ready.
Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Carol: I did.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: Totally and completely healthy!
Carol: Hey hey, come on in!
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Carol: Do you want to know?
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Carol: Well, thanks for the books.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Carol: Hello?
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Carol: That could be it.
Carol: Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Carol: Not her.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Carol: Life partner.
Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Carol: Count faster.
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Carol: You're gonna kill me!
Carol: Thanks.
Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Carol: Now go!
Carol: Out!
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)