words in movies
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Carol: (irked) Where have you been?
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Carol: Yes!
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Carol: Maybe.
Carol: I was gonna say
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: Whats not funny?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Carol: Like what?
Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Carol: Oh, me too.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Carol: Looks like it.
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Carol: Thank you so much.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Carol: Umm uh, Ill make some coffee and we can uh, chat.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)