words in movies
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Carol: So.
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Carol: A lesbian?
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Carol: I'm pregnant.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Carol: Thanks.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Carol: Give me a 'for instance'.
Carol: Marlon-
Carol: -if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl.
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Carol: Julia..
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Carol: Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Carol: I know.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Carol?
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
Carol: Sure.
Carol: As much as he needs.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Carol: How did we do?
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
CAROL: Hi honey.
CAROL: What?
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
CAROL: So how did everything go?
CAROL: Well, we've gotta go.
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
CAROL: Want us to go?
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
CAROL: Fine, whatever.
CAROL: How's it going?
CAROL: Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
CAROL: You're right. Of course you're right.
CAROL: We're back on.
CAROL: Of course I do.
CAROL: You do?
CAROL: Thank you.
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
CAROL: Ross. [He lets her go]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi.
CAROL: It's us.
CAROL: What did he say?
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Tuesday.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
Carol: G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
Carol: (answering the door) Hi!
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Carol: Oh, great! Me too.
Carol: Sooo!! Anyway...
Carol: Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Carol: You slept with another woman?
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Carol: Ahh, nooo!!
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
Carol: Okay, bye!!
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?