words in movies
Chandler: Taste it.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: Hey, mister tux!
Chandler and
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: Really!
Chandler: Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Chandler and
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Chandler: All right! (jumps up)
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
Chandler: He took my essence!
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?
Chandler: He's got nothing!
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
Chandler: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Chandler: Oooo-ooh!
Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
Chandler: Excuse me. Hi.
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Chandler, come on nothing even happened!
Chandler: Yeah?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Chandler: Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Aww, I love you so
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Chandler: Look Joe, I know you wanted to do the wedding
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just dont see why those two cant work things out!
(Chandler starts crying.)
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Chandler: You didnt get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: Sure I would!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Chandler: (entering, depressed) Hey.
Chandler: Ehh.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.
Chandler: All right!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
[Joey opens the door and sees Erica (Brooke Shields). Joey gets a huge smile and Chandler squeezed the dish soap in the air.]
(Monica and Chandler both remember a special moment between them.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Uh-oh, its my boss!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!
Chandler: Id love it if you would do it.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: (To Chandler) Iced tea.
Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Chandler: Okay, anything for you sir?
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Chandler: You wanna share it?
Chandler: Aww.
Chandler: Who sold a story to Archie Comics?!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Whats this?
Chandler: Aww, thanks man. (They hug.)
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: (To Ross) But I think we should tell her.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Chandler: Okay.
(Phoebe mocks what Monica just said. Ross pulls Chandler aside.)
Chandler: Im sorry youre here with me instead of Roger.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Chandler: Okay. (Pause.) What was tonight?
Chandler: Four different women! Ive had sex way more times!
Chandler: What was tonight?
Chandler: Hey thats what I tell girls about me.
Chandler: So was I.
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Monica: Chandler, Im gonna die a virgin!
Chandler: Shes shhing me! Its my phone and shes shhing me!
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: Stop it! Were doing this! Lets do it!
Chandler: We cant do this.
Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!
Chandler: Okay! (They both get up.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: I have some moves.
Chandler: Yeah, lets just forget it.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Oh yeah.
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, okay! (He rolls over to do that again.)
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Chandler: (sexily) Yeah?