words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Ill give up my ticket.
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Chandler: Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Chandler: (gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: Totally.
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Chandler: I know.
Monica: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
Chandler: It came up.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
Chandler: Thats-thats my nubbin.
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Chandler: (entering, happily) Well hello!
Chandler: The doctor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
Chandler: Yeah! You wanna come?
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
Chandler: Well ah, ........y'know.
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Chandler: Yeah all right, so well hang out.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Chandler: Yes. Vividly.
Chandler: She was kidding.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Chandler: Hello-dillillio!!
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!!
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the Hang 10 sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Chandler: Brenda a bee!
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
[Scene: The rest stop, the gang is still stuck, Chandler is kneeling at the rear bumper.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?
Chandler: Off?!!
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Chandler: Nothing, nothing.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Chandler: Pierce Brosnan?
Monica: Chandler!!
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
[Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Chandler and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Chandler: So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.