words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Joey: Its all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls apartment.)
Chandler: You got your passport?
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: There it is.
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Chandler: Okay, cause thats not gonna get annoying.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.)
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: How can I answer that when Im pretending I dont know you?
Chandler: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Out loud?
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
Chandler: I dont want to look.
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (Very defensive.) Im not seeing Monica.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh my god!
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
Chandler: Im coming over tonight though, right?
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Chandler: Excellent hole, Joe.
Chandler: Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?!
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Chandler: Weve got to do something!
Chandler: Me too!!
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) Theyll never understand!
Chandler: I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out.
Chandler: Well, those were seals, man.
Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Okay. All right.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
Chandler: Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]
Chandler: All right, how about we, how bout we sell it.
Chandler: You want it?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Chandler: Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land.
Chandler: (looks at him) Nooo.
Chandler: (interrupting) Let it go!!
Chandler: (quietly) ...spender.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
Chandler: Youll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Y'know, I, I really dont think we need a canoe.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
Chandler: She has a real name.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Im coming already!!
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Chandler: OH MY GOD!!!
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Chandler: Oh-no, hes right.
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?
Chandler: Ive got canned goods.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: Well, not at first.