words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Youre building a post office?
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Chandler: (coughing) What a geek!
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: We dont, really.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!!
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up!
Chandler: He started mine first!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: What, like a number?
Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Chandler: Okay, on three. One....Two....
Chandler: Why two?
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Chandler: Okay, one...two...
Chandler: Oh, good job Joe.
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Chandler: Umm?
Chandler: Ive got five bucks says you cant.
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
(Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.)
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Rachel: Hey Chandler!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Chandler: Well, wheres the logic in that?!
Chandler: I think I should get the chair!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
Chandler: Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend.
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are going through a bunch of pictures as Chandler enters.]
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Chandler: Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey decimal system.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Chandler: Hey-hey are you drunk?
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Chandler: Monicas wasted.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Chandler: Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Chandler: No, because youre not a grandmother!
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Chandler: Pheebs!!
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Chandler: (To Monica) How are you feeling?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: Okay, here we go.
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Chandler: Too?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Chandler: Thats great!
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
Chandler: Dont do it.
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Chandler: (correcting her) Phil.
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: (turning around and looking) Oh my God!
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
Chandler: Oh no thanks. I dont like any thing from my Scottish heritage.
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Chandler: (to the Maitre d') Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? (Laughs.)
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Chandler: Hi, honey! Im home!
Chandler: You mean the spitter?
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Chandler: Joe
Chandler: Yknow its funny I started it but, now its scary me. So could you come out here please?