words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Youre building a post office?
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Chandler: (coughing) What a geek!
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: We dont, really.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!!
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up!
Chandler: He started mine first!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: What, like a number?
Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Chandler: Okay, on three. One....Two....
Chandler: Why two?
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Chandler: Okay, one...two...
Chandler: Oh, good job Joe.
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Chandler: Umm?
Chandler: Ive got five bucks says you cant.
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
(Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.)
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Its a dog.
Chandler: Ha!
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again)
Chandler: What are you doin?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: (entering) Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Chandler: Nice work my friend.
Chandler: Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: And a bagel with only
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
(Chandler does so.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: All right, ready?
Chandler: Two.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: FREE PORN!!!
(Chandler turns off the porn and sets the remote down.)
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Stick to your side!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Chandler: Thanks.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: (simultaneously with Ross) No!
Ross: (simultaneously with Chandler) Yeah!
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Chandler: Bamboozled?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Chandler: Higher or lower than what?
Chandler: What does a Wicked Wango card do?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Chandler: Bogota.
(As soon as Monica leaves the room, Chandler takes off his jacket and runs to the bathroom. Monica enters the bathroom to find Chandler in the bathtub.)
Chandler: This game makes no sense!
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Chandler: Let me see that.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
Chandler: Either, it makes no difference.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Triscadecaphobia.
Chandler: Treasure of the Sierra Madre!