words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Chandler: So, is Janine around?
Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Chandler: Defend yourself.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Chandler: Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary?
Chandler: Ohh, yeah.
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
Chandler and Monica: Hey.
Chandler: You know Oh My God.
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Really.
Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old human teeth.
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)
Chandler: What???
Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Chandler: Hi, Im Chandler. Your live-in boy
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Chandler: You know when guys hang out they dont just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. Were knitting pot holders.
Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Chandler: Youre turning into a women.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: Whos that?
Chandler: Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: Not bad.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Chandler: What?
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
(Chandler mimics him.)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im not your garbage man. Im your mailman.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Chandler: Ooh, yum! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Chandler: Please, dont take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Chandler: Do you realize you get louder each week?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah, Im not sure I can do that.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: (writing) Monica
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You'll get one.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: No I didn't!
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then.
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Chandler: It happened in London.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]