words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: No, no, no. No-no-no.
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Chandler: Oh, okay, time's up!
Chandler: Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Chandler: Oooh that may be a New World's record (Looks at his watch and picks up Ross' pad)
Chandler: Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states. (Smiles and hands Ross back his pad)
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something.
Chandler: Which smells delicious!
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Chandler: Tell her, I'm allergic, and I will sue!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Huh! Where is the dog?!
Chandler: Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking!
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Monica: Oooh, I wish she could stay here, but Chandler is allergic!
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Chandler: (gasping) Really?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: Okay, it's um
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Chandler: (to Tag) Okay, you are new!
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Chandler: Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: Where's Chandler?
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: How did you know? (Heads back into the bathroom)
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Well, I, I should go in there.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: This is ridiculous. (He heads for Phoebe's bedroom)
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Chandler: Monica's all upset, because I sent Clunkers away.
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you? (He walks out)
Phoebe: (opens her bedroom door and peeks out) Hey, is Chandler here?
Chandler: No, no he went for a walk.
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Chandler: Clunkers?! Oh my god!
Chandler: (to Clunkers) It is so good to see you!
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
Chandler: It's up to you.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Chandler: All right.
Ross: (hands Chandler his pad and walks in) I want my turkey now!
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Chandler: Oh God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: That's easy, baggage claim.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
CHANDLER: Well, actually just one birthday flan.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Chandler: Youre building a post office?
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
CHANDLER: No actually, I was just going for colorful.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Chandler: We dont, really.
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!!
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: He started mine first!
Chandler: Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up!
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Chandler: What, like a number?
Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom)
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Chandler: (coughing) What a geek!
CHANDLER: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
Chandler: Okay, one...two...
Chandler: Why two?
Chandler: Okay, on three. One....Two....
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Chandler: Oh, good job Joe.
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Chandler: Umm?
Chandler: Ive got five bucks says you cant.
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Chandler: (entering, with a goatee) Hey.
Chandler: Im never gonna find a roommate, ever.
Chandler: Umm, hows it going with you guys?
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Chandler: What gay thing?
Chandler: Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
Chandler: Do I ever.
Chandler: No way!
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Chandler: Hey, Mon.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Chandler: Um-mm, yeah right!
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?