words in movies
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
(Matt mimics Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Who was it?
Chandler: Sure!
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Chandler: So, thats it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: Yeah. O-okay.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, whats the matter?
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Chandler: Oh hi!
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Thats the way I did it til I was 19.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Chandler: All right.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: Thats a hernia.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Chandler: Like an eclipse.
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
(Chandler steps away quickly.)
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
(Chandler decides to help out.)
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Chandler: Oh, all right.
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Chandler: (not enthused) Yeah, all right.
Chandler: Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Chandler: Joe?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: And?
Chandler: There you are.
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
CHANDLER: I can't believe we're doing this.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: That is true.
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Chandler: First of the month.
Chandler: No, just the months you actually want to live here.
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Chandler: Its not charity, Joe
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
Chandler: So, well do the rest of the bills later then?
Chandler: But then later that night