words in movies
Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: Oh, DAMN IT!
(Dr. Connelly glares at Chandler)
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys!
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Chandler: But you come first!
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) Ok.
Chandler: Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors.
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Chandler walks in with a friend of his while Monica is putting fruit in a bowl.]
Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Chandler: (to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!
Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Chandler: Ok!
Chandler: (bringing the beer to Zack) Zack!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartement. Chandler and the guest are in the living room, Monica in the kitchen]
Zack: Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. (Chandler points him the bathroom) Thanks!
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Chandler: You don't like him.
Chandler: Alright! Just follow my lead!
Chandler: Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Monica: We're just making conversation. (Chandler makes an agreeing-sound)
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Monica & Chandler: Sure! Alright...
Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?
Chandler: (Proceeding with his dinner) We're teeth people Zack!
Chandler: You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer?
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Chandler: Ok.
Chandler: I think we've found our sperm!
Chandler: Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him?
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: Really? Are you sure?
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Chandler: So you know this leaves us with...
Chandler: How do you feel about that?
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Chandler: (smiling) Yeah.
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: Hey, Zack!
Zack: (hardly enthusiastic) Hey Chandler.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Chandler: You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya?
Chandler: What about him?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Did you not understand the story?
Chandler: Oh yeah?
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Chandler: No! (The oven dings.) Shhh!
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Chandler: Huh.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Chandler: Hey!!!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: That was you!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Whoa, she's pretty. (Mentioning the girl on TV)
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Chandler: Yknow when I said that because were getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!!
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Chandler: Could I play?
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay. (Does The Face.)
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: Aww! (Smiles.)
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Chandler: How about those three pointers?
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Chandler: Really? Right across the street?
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Chandler: Whend you meet her?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Chandler: I cant help it!
Chandler: Excellent! Yknow Ross met somebody too!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Chandler: Im still right here!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Hi! Howd it go?
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: There I am!