words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Charlie: You blew them away!
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley?
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating).
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Charlie: Oh my God!!
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
Ross: (to Charlie) Oh, it's not over!
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Charlie: Yeah...
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Charlie: I'm good!
Charlie: Hi!
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Charlie: The museum!
Charlie: Hi!
(Charlie walks in.)
Charlie: The museum was amazing!
Charlie: No, we went to the left.