words in movies
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller!
Monica: Oh my God, that's Charlie!
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Charlie: uhm... Is everything okay?
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Charlie: I uhm... I completely understand.
Charlie: Okay...
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey?
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
Charlie: PHD
Charlie: It's so... something... You go girlfriend!
Charlie: Not once.
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?
Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
(cut to Charlie and Ross)
Charlie: Okay... Good luck.
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Charlie: Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself...
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Charlie: Hi!
Charlie: Nice to meet you.
Amy: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant!
Charlie: Yeah.
Charlie: Yes, absolutely. I'll call him.
Charlie: (glances over Ross' shoulder) Sorry, looks like it's just him.
Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Benjamin: Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning!
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Charlie: Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair).
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Benjamin: Break up with Charlie!
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Charlie: What?
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
Charlie: Seriously?
[Scene: Benjamin's office. Ross and Charlie are entering.]
Charlie: Yes!
Charlie: Benji?
Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Charlie: Maybe...
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay!
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Charlie: So, shall we?
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
Charlie: You blew them away!
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley?
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating).
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"