words in movies
(Ross comes back to the couch.)
[Gunther gets up slowly from behind the couch and walks away sadly]
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
[they sit at the couch]
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
BIG BULLY: This couch belongs to us.
PHOE: [comes back to couch, with cake] Sooo, what's goin' on, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rob are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Oh, okay, thanks. (He goes back to the couch and rejoins Monica, Joey, and Phoebe.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Hey! (Joey quickly hides the magazine under the couch.)
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is sitting on the couch with Katie.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
The Salesman: You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.
Rachel: Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.
The Salesman: You picked a great couch.
Rachel: Any chance you think the couch looks good there?
(They set the couch down.)
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Monica: (noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
[Cut to Chandler and Monica on the couch.]
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)