words in movies
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
The Casting Director: Y'know, that's-that's fine, but the line is, "Hmm, soup."
The Casting Director: Hmm, noodle soup.
The Casting Director: All right, let's try one.
The Casting Director: Okay. Let's do it again.
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
The Casting Director: Sure. What?
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Casting Director #2: No.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Director: Uh sure.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
The Director: All right, from the top.
The Director: And Action!
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Director: Whats going on over here?
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
(The director shakes his head.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Director: Cut!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
The Director: And cut!
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
The Director: Cut!
The Casting Director: Okay.
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
(The casting director shakes her head.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
The Director: Yeah.
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Director: But youre not bald.
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
The Director: Action!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
The Director: Cut! Wonderful!
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Director: What?!
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
The Director: Lets reset.
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
The Director: Watch again that hand.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Once again, and action!
The Director: Okay.
The Director: And action!
Director: Cut! Very nice people!
The Director: Here we go.
The Director: Action.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
[Scene: Unitel Video, Studio 55, Joey's telethon, he is being shown around by the stage director.]
Joey: (to the director) Hiya!
Director: On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION!
Director: CUT!
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.