words in movies
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
The Director: Action!
The Director: Cut! Wonderful!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Director: What?!
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
The Director: But youre not bald.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
The Director: Lets reset.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
The Director: Still rolling, annnnd action!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Director: Lose the robe.
Director: That would work.
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
Director: No, that was clenching.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)
Casting Director No. 2: Name?
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Director: Have fun.
DIRECTOR: Cut.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Director: Lovely, just lovely.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
DIRECTOR: Cut.
DIRECTOR: Cut.
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
The Director: Yes?
Director: All right, let's do it!
Director: No, no, no. What was that?
Director: Well, people!
The Director: Joe. Hows it going?
The Director: You ready to go?
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
The Casting Director: Sure. What?
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
The Casting Director: All right, let's try one.
The Casting Director: Hmm, noodle soup.
The Casting Director: Okay. Let's do it again.
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Casting Director #2: No.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
The Director: All right, from the top.
The Director: And Action!
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Director: Uh sure.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
(The director shakes his head.)
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
Director: Whats going on over here?
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Director: Cut!
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.