words in movies
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
(Chandler tries to take it, but Monica wont let go. He tugs harder, and she still doesnt budge.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Rachel: Well, why doesnt he practice with a girl?
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Nina: Maybe. But that doesnt explain why they keep taking my scissors.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Ben: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: Oh Pheebs, thats great. It doesnt count.
Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesnt melt.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesnt count.
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Rachel: No. She doesnt die.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Ross: No, Rachel doesnt want me to....
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Issac: Oh, hey, man I know, doesnt matter how much we love em, monogamy is too cruel a rule.
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Monica: Nah, he doesnt do anything for me.
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joey: No he doesnt!
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?