words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.]
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Monica: Third door on the left.
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Amanda: (opening the door) Hi!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Monica: (running in from her bedroom) Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (goes over to the door.)
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
[Scene: Outside Cheryl's apartment, Monica knocks on Cheryl's door]
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Kathy: (opening the door) Hey.
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
(They open the door.)
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Joey: Oh, were having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)
(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Prof. Sherman's office. Sherman is still asleep on his chair, blocking the door.]
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
(Joey turns to leave but stops at the door.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Monica: Rachel locked the door.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.