words in movies
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Monica: Ohh. (Monica covers her eyes in horror.)
Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.
Chandler: Uh-huh. (He doesn't take his eyes off the TV.)
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler? (And he makes eyes at him.)
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Phoebe: Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler has his eyes closed, while Monica is fully awake.]
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Monica: Oh yeah, right. (Rolls her eyes.)
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Monica: So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? Im just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
(Monica rolls her eyes)
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
JOEY: Yeah?� (His eyes bug out.)
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
(all eyes turn to Rachel)
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
(Joey's eyes double in size)
Chandler: (To Monica and with bulging eyes) Why!?
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Chandler: I know. He has your eyes.
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Phoebe: You can open your eyes now.