words in movies
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it.
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Monica: What for?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Monica: And who pays for that?
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Monica: For what?
David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well?
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Chandler: Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe: What were you modeling for?
Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.