words in movies
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Frank: (entering) Hey!
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Frank: Yeah.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Frank: It's not that weird, is it?
(He runs out and Frank watches him go.)
Frank: Oh cool! You made him cry!
Rachel: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Frank: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
[Scene: The waiting room, Frank is on the phone as Rachel approaches.]
Frank: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Frank: Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh?
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
(Everyone except Frank leaves.)
Frank: Yes, it has a head!
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
Frank: YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!
Frank: Frank Jr. Jr.!!
Frank: So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)
Frank: Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it!
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Frank: Hey, where's his thing?
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Frank: Chandler's a girl!
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Frank: No-no ah, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes.
Frank: Yeah.
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Phoebe: Yayohyay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Frank: Ah, oh, the ah, vandalism.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank Sr. is just arriving.]
Frank Sr.: Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's (opens it) oh it'sew used. Umm, cool.
Frank Sr.: Oh yes. Yes, yes, I am, uh-hmm.
Frank Sr.: She what?!
Frank Sr.: Oh! What about, what about the girls?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Frank Sr.: Shh! (Whispers) No! Joe Hill!
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Frank Sr.: Yes, yes I was.
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Frank Sr.: Well then I guess then I-I would I would have to say C.
Frank Sr.: So, what did Francis leave me?
FRANK: Yeah. What? [a young guy comes around the corner]
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Frank Sr.: All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Frank: Cause it just sorta happened, yknow we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch
Frank Sr.: I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm (Backs away.)
Frank Sr.: I can't believe this. I justI can't believe this. How-howOh my God. How long ago?
Man: Umm, Frank Buffay.
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) Im gonna, Im gonna get my ah, my fianc�e man!
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Frank: Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better?
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Frank: Oh, I knew youd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?
Frank Sr.: Yeah, yeah. Why?
FRANK: Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Monica: Hi Frank.
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Frank Jr.: Hey.
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
Frank Jr.: Yeah.
Frank Jr.: Good to see you, too.
Frank Jr.: I haven't slept in four years!
Frank Jr.: That's not what we talked about!!
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Frank Jr.: Hi, how you doin'?
Frank Jr.: No, of course we're not.
Frank Jr.: Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No.
Frank Jr.: No, I can't.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Frank Jr.: Huh.
Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.?
Frank Jr.: I know.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one.
Frank Jr.: How about tomorrow?
Frank Jr.: You'd do that for us?
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
Frank: Oh, hes so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Frank: Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I cant believe that I screwed it up so bad.
Frank Sr.: (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knights ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Frank: Whoa! Big octopus.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor..
Frank: You-you work at one of those massage parlors?
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
FRANK: Except stilts.