words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Ross: (pretend fishing in the living room) Ohh, Gellers got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! (Swinging the rod back and forth) Its the classic struggle between man and(swings the rod and knocks over a lamp.) Someone knocked over a lamp.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Mrs. Geller: Mmmm!
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It's an expression.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
Mrs. Geller: What's different?
Mrs. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.
Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Mr. Geller: What's the score?
Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear?
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Geller: Tell her what?
Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]
Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Mr. Geller: Eat your fish.
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
FBOB: Geller!
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.