words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the Geller Bowl.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.