words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)