words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear!
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]