words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
FBOB: Geller!
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.