words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?