words in movies
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Mrs. Geller: Hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Mrs. Geller: No, I have faith
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
FBOB: Geller!
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Ross: The Geller Cup.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.