words in movies
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Mrs. Geller: Just hear me out!
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!
Ross: Oh Ross Geller
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
Professor Spafford: Professor Geller?
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
Ross: Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller!
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.