words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Dr. Green: Its chicken.
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
(Dr. Green exhales in relief.)
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Dr. Green: I just called a friend of mine.
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
Dr. Green: What?!
Dr. Green: I dont believe this!!
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Dr. Green: You did!
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Dr. Green: Oh really? Thats how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
Ross: (to Dr. Green) Hey! I offered to marry her!
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
Ross: Im sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: But what?! You figured youd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel!
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
MRS GREEN: This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Monica: Theyre green?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Rachel: Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Tag: Hi! Rachel Greens office.
Melissa: (Gasps when she notices Rachel) Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! (Screams)
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Ross: A green LeSabre?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Monica: You like Green Bay?
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Green Bay.
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
Mrs. Green: Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Mrs. Green: Oh look.
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: No dear, thats what babies do.
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Mrs. Green: Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Mrs. Green: Darling, thats a breast pump!
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Rachel: (opens the present, it's a green scarf) Awww, awww, it's beautiful.
Chandler: Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours?
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Dr. Green: Ooh, I have a little heart attack.
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)