words in movies
Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.
(The guy walks past them)
Guy: Nice hat.
(The guy walks on)
Monica: (Shouts to the guy) Woo-woo!
(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)
[Scene: Hospital, the guy is in a coma and Mon and Pheebs are visiting.]
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Phoebe: Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?
Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?
Coma Guy: Well,... thanks.
Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.
Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?
Coma Guy: Alright, I'll call you.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Monica: All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Cop: Oh, I know a guy in homicide up there.
Caitlin: The guy with the gas?!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Charity guy: Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated.
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Phoebe: Oh, this guy again. (She ignores him.)
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Joey: (entering) Uhh, hey. Where's the other guy?
Joey's Hand Twin: Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Phoebe: I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons!
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
The Hot Girl: I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman.
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Guy #1: Nice car!
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: (No, not the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files.) Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club.
Guy #2: Wow!
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
(The guy gets in and drives off.)
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know, werent you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
Ross: Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: I did but she doesnt think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Tall Guy: God! What are you, in second grade?
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Tall Guy: Look, are you dating this girl you came with?
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Chandler: No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Ross: Men. I guy I know.
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.