words in movies
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Ross: Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Joey: Noo!! Ive had the best day ever! Dude, check this out!
Hillary: Ive had a really good time tonight.
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Phoebe: Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever.
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Ross: I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Ross: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.
Monica: How dirty do you think I am? Im telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?