words in movies
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
RACH: What happened?
ROSS: Oh my God, what happened?
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
ROSS: What happened?
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
ROSS: I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: What just happened?
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
MONICA: So what happened?
Ross: Maybe this wouldve happened if Id been more nurturing, or Id paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I cant believe this!
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Phoebe: Why, what happened?
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: What happened?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Phoebe: But, also, what happened between you and your Mom?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Phoebe: What umm, what happened?
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Bonnie: Hey, what happened to you?
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
Phoebe: What happened?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Ross: What happened?
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! What happened?
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
Rachel: Oh! My hero! What happened?
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Rachel: Oh my God! What happened?
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Joey: (rushing in) Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: What happened? What happened?!
Ross: What happened?
Monica: What the hell happened?!
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
Phoebe: So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: What happened?
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
Monica: What happened?