words in movies
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Jill: Well, this has been fun.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
Monica: Noo!! Its driving me crazy. I mean every other way hes like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything.
Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
CHANDLER: Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
MONICA: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
JOEY: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Monica: Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
[Some guy has entered.]
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!