words in movies
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Mona: Oh, my God! She has food delivered here?
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
(Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Phoebe: Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass!
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Chandler: I know. He has your eyes.
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Chandler: And Milton Berle has a
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! (She punches Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chandler: Yeah. Yknow I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and Ill go all Chandler. But nothing has.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
(Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Ross: Thats right. The student has become the master.
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Gary's Radio: Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer.
Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Rachel: Yeah? Wow! Yknow, that this thing has speakers in the headrest!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, its has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
[Scene: Looking through Ross's window, he's doing more pantomimes. The first one is he's walking a dog that has stopped, then suddenly tugs him forward.]
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)