words in movies
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
[Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up]
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Joey: No, he really said it.
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route.
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Joey: Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but Im pretty sure hes gay.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Monica: Okay, he was talking about rules.
Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
Monica: You did? What was he talking about?
Monica: What did he tell you?
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Chandler: But what did he mean by rules?
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Phoebe: Well, you were wrong, he doesnt like me!
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Ross: Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh"
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
Ross: Oh no-no-no, were just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)
Phoebe: Whe-where did he put it?!
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?
Joey: Hes breathing!
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: He works with food!
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Phoebe: He has brown hair.
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Ross: Hes not?
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.