words in movies
(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Phoebe: Well, I can't help you.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
The Flight Attendant: Miss? May I help you?
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
(Chandler decides to help out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Chandler: Im just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that youre okay.
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Rachel: That wouldnt help me.
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Monica: (all depressed) Help yourself.
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Phoebe: We should help him!
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Paul: Thanks for your help. (Starts to leave.)
All: Of course well help! Yeah! Well be here!
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you?
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Male Jeweler: Can I help you?
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Chandler: I cant help it!
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do? Im gonna go over there; Im gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Ross: Need some help?
Rachel: And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Salesman: Oh. Okay! How can I help you?
Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!