words in movies
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Ross: Although I was married to her.
Chandler: Oh, okay. Send her in.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Nina: (Taking her hand away) What?
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Jamie: It looks like her.
Jamie: (Without moving her lips) Your turn.
Jamie: Definitely her.
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: But hes falling in love with her.
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
(Rachel slips, loses her balance, and falls over the edge..)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
(Rachel dials her number.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Rachel is now three sheets to the wind and Joey is watching her.]
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
[Scene: Hotel Monica, Phoebe is on the bed playing her guitar as Monica enters.]
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Rachel: Oo! Whens her birthday?!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Chandler: Then you distract her with a Barbie doll.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
Ross: Im gonna call her.
Sebastian: Here you go. (Hands her, her cup.)
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
(Suddenly Ross jumps in and starts dancing with her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]
Sarah: Really! Now this all better be here when I come back. (puts her plate back at her side of the table)
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, coming!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Chandler: (To Monica) Oh, well thank you in advance. (Kisses her.)
(Phoebe winks and licks her lips while eyeing Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is pouring wine for her boyfriend, Dr. Roger.]
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
[Cut back to the present, Rachel has made her decision.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Paul: Well, we were very young when we had her.
Monica: I am!! (Enter her room and closes the door behind her.)
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
[Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.]
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!