words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
(At that moment two very large men start screaming and running towards Emily and picking her up.)
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders.)
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Ross: (starts rubbing her belly) Hello! Hello!
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no!
Phoebe: (entering, carrying her massage table) Hi!
Monica: Oh. Why didnt you take her?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Monica: Do you love her?
Monica: You love her!
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
(Joey closes the door behind her.)
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesnt even look up from her report.)
Mr. Burgin: I like her. She sees smart.
Wayne: Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Ross: I cant, I cant even believe her! No, yknow what, I am, I am gonna go!
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
(He tries to put it on her finger.)
Rachel: Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom)
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
(He goes over to hug her.)
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
(He hesitates, then goes over to dance with her.)
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Phoebe: (going over to comfort her) Aww, Pheebs.
(He sits down next to her.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
Ross: Wait-wait-wait, do you, do you think, maybe we shouldnt invite her?
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
(He moves to kiss her, but stops when he hears the duck.)
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
(She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.)