words in movies
Rachel: No, that day... that won't be her real birthday!
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Joey: What, what!? it's for her hot friends!
Rachel: No really, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her up.
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Rachel: What did you get her?
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Monica: Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Emma: Wo-ish. (and holds up her finger)
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Phoebe: (sets the cup down) Oh! (Grabs her stomach in pain.)
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey!
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
Monica: Im not talking to her!
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Monica: Oh, so you like her too Chandler?
Monica: Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?
Ross: Thank you for bringing her into our lives.
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Rachel: You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Rachel: Aw, Mon...(Kisses her on the cheek)
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Phoebe: Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!
Joey: Uh, some of her friends, yeah.
Rachel: Her dancer friends?
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Rachel: (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isnt it beautiful?
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Ross: (cutting her off) Youre alone.
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Phoebe: (Hugging her again.) Youve lasted a whole year. Good for you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
[Joey gives her an understanding look.]
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Ross: You kissed her.
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!