words in movies
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Jill: You asked him too?!
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Jill: So? (Kisses him passionately.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) Youre gonna throw that juice at me, arent ya?
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
RACHEL: OK, well, bye. [kisses him]
RACHEL: OK, well, bye-bye again. [kisses him again]
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
RACH: [looks at him] Huh, Bob Saget?
PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.
(Gary closes the door behind him.)
PHOEBE: OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
ROSS: Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee.
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
JOEY: Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)
MONICA: Bye sweetie, (kisses him) I love you.
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)