words in movies
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Monica: Can you blame him?
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Monica: I gotcha. Sorry. (To Monica) So, did you ever make him throw up a whole anything?
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Phoebe: (seeing him) Oh, hello liar.
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Monica: Betrothed (Corrects him)
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Hey, yknow you could always visit him.
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: I didnt. I got under him.
(Ross glares at him.)
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Phoebe: Because youre marrying him!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
Phoebe: Oh. (She starts laughing. Then she throws the badge at him and runs away.)
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
(Chandler mimics him.)
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.