words in movies
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: You just give him a spoon baby!
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Chandler: There are snow cones! (Monica glares at him.) Snow cones! Yuck!
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Chandler: Yes. Yes. (Lets him up.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
(Monica and Chandler turn and stare at him.)
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Monica: Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
(Rachel turns and stares at him.)
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
(They both start laughing at him.)
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Cookie: So what. I say, punch him.
Krista: You are so bad! (Hits him softly.)
Krista: You are! (Hits him softly.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Ross: Oh my God! (Looking around, which doesn't take him long.)
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
(Joey laughs, Ross glares at him, and Joey stops.)
Krista: You are! (Hits him harder this time.)
Monica: (elbows him) Fifteen minutes.
ROSS: Did you tell him about my thquirt gun idea?
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Monica: Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Phoebe: Ooh. (Turns to him.)
Dream Monica: Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.
Chandler: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away)
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Monica: What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
Rachel: (noticing him) What's up Joey?