words in movies
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Monica: You cant marry him!
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Vince: You made him a candle light dinner in the park?
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Monica: Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
(Rachel glares at him.)
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didnt tell him that, though? Right?
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Eric: Well, I guess Ill see you at the wedding. (Exits and Phoebe follows him into the hall.)
Rachel: Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Kathy: Clearly, Im having sex with him?
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Mr. Waltham: Will you call him?
(They all turn and glare at him.)
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Chandler: Ooh, let me talk to him!
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnt hit him all the time.
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf?
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Emily: I dont care! You just get him!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Rachel: OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
Monica: He didnt ask me to marry him.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Joey: Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra.
Chandler: Look (hands him a drink) it was a lo-o-ong time ago.
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Emily: I was going to call him, but
Emily: Id really rather talk to him.
(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, dont-dont do the accent. Youve got to see her again.
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
(Joey joins him.)
Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when youre not working here?
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Rachel: Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. (Hugs him) See you.
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
(Chandler wakes him up, again.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didnt say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.