words in movies
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
GAIL: I'm Gail.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
ROY: Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
MONICA: Mom, I'm hungry.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Amy: Ew. <walks into Rachel's room, I'm guessing>
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Janine: I'm okay.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Rachel: Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
Monica: yeah oh my god, I'm so moved.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Rachel: Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Rachel: Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!
Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Ross: There isn't that's what I'm saying. (All happy)
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Joey's Doctor: Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.
Ross: I'm sorry I didn't catch.
Ross: please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times.
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Joey: I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed.
Joey: that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey.
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Ross: I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Monica:: I'm gonna go freshen up ok
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Chandler: Hi honey I'm home!
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
Joey: Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines.
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Sandy: (a guy) Hi... I'm Sandy.
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Gate attendant #2: I'm sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass.
Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets!
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Rachel: Mon, I'm so sorry.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Amy: Um.. I'm a decorator.
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Amy: I'm sorry.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
JOEY: Yeah, right Monica.� I'm so sorry.
CHANDLER: Well, it looks great.� It's just that . . . well, I'm wearing the same thing underneath.� So . . .
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
CHANDLER: I'm just going to wait for a little while.
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
JOEY: (listens at the door.)� No.� (pause) All right, I'm going in.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Chandler: I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww!
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry...
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Chandler: I'm serious!
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.
Chandler: (coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.
Chandler: I'm *happily* married.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)