words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Monica: Guys! Im not pregnant.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Joey: I cant! I-I dont have any other clothes here.
Monica: Because Im not.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Phoebe: I cant say.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Rachel: Ugh! Look honey yknow what? I havent told him yet, so until I do I dont think I should tell anybody else.
Phoebe: Okay, Im sorry. Ill stop.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
Mona: You think so? Ive always kinda hated it.
Mona: Really?! Well see? I never knew about her.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Joey: I dont believe weve met, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Phoebe: Ill run out and get you one.
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Second Girl: Can I go next?
Mona: Okay, but I get to hop on after her. (Ross bites the air in response.)
Ross: I am so gonna score.
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Fat Girl: Im next!
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Rachel: I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things?
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Rachel: I will not! Im the divisional head of mens sportswear!
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Rachel: I dont know why they didnt just tell us.
Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Rachel: I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Monica: Actually, I did!
Phoebe: I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted too.
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Joey: What? I dont get it.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
MONICA: Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, yknow, next time youre in Minsk umm
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, whats the harm in that?
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Chandler: Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Phoebe: Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Policeman: Well I tell you what
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.