words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Monica: Guys! Im not pregnant.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Joey: I cant! I-I dont have any other clothes here.
Monica: Because Im not.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Phoebe: I cant say.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Rachel: Ugh! Look honey yknow what? I havent told him yet, so until I do I dont think I should tell anybody else.
Phoebe: Okay, Im sorry. Ill stop.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
Mona: You think so? Ive always kinda hated it.
Mona: Really?! Well see? I never knew about her.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Joey: I dont believe weve met, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Phoebe: Ill run out and get you one.
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Second Girl: Can I go next?
Mona: Okay, but I get to hop on after her. (Ross bites the air in response.)
Ross: I am so gonna score.
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Fat Girl: Im next!
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Phoebe: Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter (Good for her) but Okay, why not?
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is likeOh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Janine: Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized?
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Rachel: Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Ross: Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Look guys, when Im with her its-its-its like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, yknow?
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Gate attendant #2: Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine.
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.