words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Chandler: I think it's winning.
Ross: I think it's insane.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Chandler: Oh, uh, I... don't... care. (Joey's date shows up) Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once.
Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Rachel: Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn.
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Kristin: Wow, uh, anything else I should know?
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Kristin: (reluctantly) I guess.
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh, no I don't.
Chandler: I did, but...
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Earl: Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. (Hangs up.)
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Monica: I cant believe this! (Storms out.)
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Rachel: (to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I dont think I have the energy for this.
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Chandler: I think I should get the chair!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Marge: Sorry, I dont know any Earl.
Earl: (screaming) Im right here!!!!
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Earl: Im actually the office manager.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Ross: Well, were all here! I guess we should get going!
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
Earl: I thought it was toner.
Joey: No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and I remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Monica: I cant believe you bought this.
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Rachel: I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Monica: Okay. I can do that.
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Phoebe: I just lost a whole year of my life.
Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.