words in movies
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Mr. Waltham: (entering) Rachel! Could I have a moment?
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Rachel: Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, Ill be right back!
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Rachel: (shocked) Well, I-I guessI
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: I dont know sweetie.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: I think shes here.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Rachel: Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Rachel: Oh well, no I
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Rachel: Ill get her.
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Chandler: Well, can I just
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Chandler: Okay, Im going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
Joey: (rushing in) Hey! Joey Tribbiani! Im here! Im here!
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance. (Motions for one.)
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Rachel: No, I dont.
Chandler: All right, well Im gonna put my sweats back on.
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
Chandler: (jumping up) Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three!
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Chandler: Well, Im there too!
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
Rachel: Yeah, I
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Monica: Wait, now, what am I doing again?
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Cassie: Im all done.
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Ross: Well Im, Im a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be.
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Monica: Im Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom?
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Rachel: Oh tomorrow, oh I dont know. Um
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Joey: I dont think so.
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.)
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Rachel: Im not saying that Im a lesbian! Im just saying that this happened!
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Phoebe: Okay! All right! Yeah! Cause I just cant picture it.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Monica: Well, what am I going to say?
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: I dont care, Im not going anywhere.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.
Melissa: Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what youre talking about.
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Dr. Leedbetter: I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that.
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Phoebe: I know.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Monica: A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Rachel: It happened! I am telling you it happened!
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Rachel: Im sorry!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Phoebe: Ive had better.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Rachel: I dont want to say.
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not sure I can do that.
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.