words in movies
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Joey: Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!
Chandler: Im good.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Rachel: (to Gunther) Ill take a coffee. (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Thank you. I yeah.
Ross: I mean after tomorrow night.
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Ross: Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: Im not macho.
Monica: Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.
Chandler: No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.
Chandler: Id be sad sure, but I wouldnt cry.
Chandler: Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, Im rich!
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Chandler: No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
The Fan: Wow! Wow, thanks a lot! I just wanna say, I think youre really talented.
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
The Fan: Oh yeah! Ive seen all her movies.
Joey: (laughs) I dont think so.
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!
Rachel: Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Rachel: Do I have my own castle?
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Ah, I thought Id find you here, Nasforatool.
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around.
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Chandler: Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Chandler: Aww, I love you so
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Ross: Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Monica: No, I havent.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didnt stop it. I guess I-I just wasnt thinking
Ross: Oh waithold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just dont see why those two cant work things out!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Monica: I-I dont-I dont think that Im gonna wear the boots tonight.
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Dina: Im pregnant.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: I know.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
Gunther: And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we dont just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, Im with Ben.
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
Dina: Yes I do!
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Dina: No I wont!
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Trudie Styler: Im Trudie.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
CHANDLER: No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned.
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Airline Employee: Im sorry, would you move your thumb? I cant see the seat number.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Monica: Okay, Im sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: I know, I lied! I didnt want her to think I was a terrible mother! I cant even see my own baby!
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Rachel: Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Monica: Yes! Now, theyre a little more than I normally spend on boots or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
Joey: Well Id be scared of them, but all right.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: Wait, Im-Im sorry. Whats the big deal about a holiday card?
Mona: Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Monica: I cant think of anything were doing. (Quietly) Why cant I think of anything were doing?
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess Ill take aMona, uh I-Im not sure about the whole uh, card thing.
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Ross: The card! I think were there!
Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, yknow I justI hope were moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Dont you think?
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Mona: Okay. IBut I think we should still have this conversation.
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Rachel: No. Im very comfortable.
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Dr. Schiff: Im a doctor.
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Phoebe: I love you too...
Monica: Hey, I couldve had you if I wanted you.
Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!
Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Rachel: Okay, umm, Im gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.