words in movies
Phoebe: Well, I left my guitar here again.
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Well, Phoebe I thought Id(Off Phoebes look)Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Phoebe: Im curious about the human body.
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Well what do I know?! Im not a doctor!
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Chandler: Yeah. (Checks his hair.) Oh no wait, Im not an nine-year-old girl.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Oh, I just I feel terrible.
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
Phoebe: No-no, I got that.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, Ive raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Phoebe: I mean $500.
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Monica: I guess.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Joey: Well, I was due.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Chandler: I know!
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Pete: Well ah, Ive been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Monica: No, I really, really do.
Part I Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Part II Written by: Greg Malins & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Monica: I think so.
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Monica: What makes you think that I might not be okay?
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, dont! I forgot I am totally against that now.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Joey: Am I in it?
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
RACHEL: Because I promised Mindy I would.
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Monica: So, should I call him back?
Phoebe: What am I gonna do?
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: I called him.
Eric: She, now I knew that and now Im sweating. Look at me, Im really sweatingNow Im saying, "Look at me," Im getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
Monica: He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
Hombre Man: I heard ya.
Rachel: But I...
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: God, I am so glad you dont have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldnt even consider applying.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Ross: Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.
Eldad: Im a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Monica: I don't know!
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Monica: I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies!
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
MONICA: Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.