words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
Joey: And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Ross: Ah, actually, Im sorry we-we probably should get going.
Parker: (laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Puts hand on her stomach)
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Monica: I feel terrible.
Joey: I know
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Rachel: On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isnt She Lovely as I walked down the aisle.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Phoebe: No, Im fine. Im great. Im with you.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Parker: I wont quit until you try.
Parker: What are they like? Ive never had one.
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Aunt Lisa: Ill bet you looked beautiful
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Ross: Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. Thats-thats where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Joey: Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mr. Geller: (looking at the picture) Why dont I remember this dog?
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Phoebe: Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium?
Parker: I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Parker: I love games!
Parker: I lose, now Jenga.
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Parker: Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "Id better be going."
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: I will think about it.
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Monica: No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: I know. I know.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Rachel: Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants?
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Rachel: Oh Joey, I cant believe you brought my boss into this! Im gonna get fired!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Joey: I think youre right.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
Joey: I like it.
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Monica: All right, look Im just gonna unplug it.
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!