words in movies
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
Rachel: I dont know.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
Monica: Yeah, Im sorry. Im-Im so sorry.
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Chandler: Well Joey, Im a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! (Waves.)
Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Monica: Okay. I can do that. (Pause) I gotta go powder my ass.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Mrs. Green: Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Ross: (thinking) Oh. (Pause) Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Chandler: Id like a Google Card.
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Man: Hey Joey, hi! Im Ray; Im the producer of the show.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Mrs. Green: Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Rachel: Hello?! I still dont know what the hell Im doing!
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Ross: Im telling you.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Monica: Yeah? Im proud of me too.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Chandler: I am now!
Monica: Im not your best friend?
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
Monica: All right, all right, at least Im prepared.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Monica: I made them!
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?!
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Monica: (looks around) Well, with all these doctors and nurses, Im gonna say, midget rodeo.
Chandler: I dont know.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
Rachel: But I
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Monica: I know!
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Ross: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?
Chandler: Yeah, I do.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Ross: I couldnt.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Ive never been more convinced of your love for her.
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
Monica: I cant do it. Im sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me....
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Rachel: how about I move in with you?
Rachel: Well since Im movin out and-and youre so beautiful
Rachel: No, I have two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I think Im gonna find my own place.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? Ive got a really good one! Ive been thinking about it since Kansas.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Rachel: No-no, Im staying put.
Gunther: I dont know.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Chandler: Thats the way I did it til I was 19.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Im fine! I just, Im thinking how much its an end of era.
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
Stephanie: Well the divorces dont bother me, Id date him. But, not while hes still married.
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
Monica: I loved them!
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Woman on TV: I came to the big city to become a star! Ill do anything to make that happen!
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Larry: Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down!
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Phoebe: Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! (Realizes) Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.