words in movies
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right?
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it!
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: But I am going hunting!!
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh!
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Joey: I know, yeah!
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Ross: Glad I could help man.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: (still weeping) I know.
Margha: Which do I like?
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Margha: Im now thinking I would like to change my answer to, no one.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Rachel: Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t...
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Monica: No! Im not okay!
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Rachel: Yeah, and you dont mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.
Phoebe: All righty. Ill be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
Rachel: Oh shoot! I work Monday nights.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Monica: Let go! Im a tiny little woman!!
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Rachel: Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
JOEY: I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'.
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Monica: So, Ill get-get back to my friend.
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
Chandler: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better..
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Sarah: So far, Ive sold seventy-five.
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Ross: Okay, okay, okay. (hugs her) Ill get the bagels.
Woman: I can still see you!
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
Chandler: Noo!! You dont have a boyfriend because....I dont, I dont know why you dont have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
Joey: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, Ill let you have her.
Phoebe: Ohhh boy, do I feel bad.
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Ross: OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah...
Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because Im going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Monica: (she reaches out for it and stops) Oh God! I gotta go! (runs out)
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Monica: Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! (She goes back to Clunkers again) Oooh, I can't leave her!
Rachel: Gunther, I quit.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, Im, Im smoking still.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Monica: I heard that!
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
Guy: Looks good. Ill take it.
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
Joey: (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer.
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Guy: I-I think Im gonna look around a little bit more.
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Rachel: Oh, I blew it. I wouldnt of even hired me.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Rachel: (hanging up the phone) I got the job!
Joey: Id really prefer a mountain bike.
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Barry: All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
CHANDLER: Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her.
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Chandler: (sings in a helium voice) First I was afraid, I was petrified (very happy)