words in movies
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Jake: Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure Im not doing anything Tuesday. (He bends over to open his bag, when he does so his pants slide down his butt revealing a pink lace secret.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: Yknow we already went over this and I won!
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that he was wearing womens underwear!
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Rachel: I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Chandler: Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Policeman: Well I tell you what
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: I promise.
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Helena: No-no I heard! Im just sorry.
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Joey: Yeah! And-and things arent as smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! Youve got cotton, silk, lace! And yknow what Ive always wondered about?
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Monica: Im-Im Monica.
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, maam.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Ross: I know. I know.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I understand.
Joey: Yknow, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Woman: I dont think so.
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.
Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh
CHANDLER: I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)
The Teacher: Well hi, Im Jenny Boone. Im the new teacher here.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Monica: You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chips motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
Chandler: Look, Im just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff.
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think Im ready to dance with girls.
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Rachel: Don't look at me I never get his jokes.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) ...emblem of the land I love. The home of....
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Rachel: Dont say anything. I dont wanna speak, I dont wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Rachel: (to Gunther) Ill take a coffee. (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Chandler: Hey! Well, Ive been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you thats mean!
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Joey: Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.