words in movies
Rachel: I didn't know there were docks.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Phoebe: Oh, can I play too? Ive never played football, like ever.
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Ross: (He checks his watch) Sure. Ill help you.
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Elizabeth: Im the student.
Ross: I dont know Rachel, why?
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: Oh, I like Elizabeth.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: Well...Id better get going.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Elizabeth: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
The Porsche Owner: Im not coming back.
Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh!
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Rachel: Oh well, it's kinda lonely up there, so I just thought I would come out here and get some fresh air.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian.
Ross: Im gonna call her.
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Joey: Right!(he starts to ape her)"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts)
Sebastian: Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Joey: Sure! I was there! Spring Break 81! Woo-hoo!
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Rachel: Im just sort of in the middle of something.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Rachel: Yeah, Im good.
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Maybe I should go!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Elizabeth: I will.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Im sorry your husband cheated on you.
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Joey: Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.
Chandler: Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands!
Phoebe: I am.
Chandler: I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right?
Monica: I will.
Joey: All right well, Im outta here. Wish me luck.
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Joey: Yeah, did I fool ya?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?