words in movies
Rachel: I didn't know there were docks.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, dont I have to wait a while?
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just dont think I have enough left on my credit card.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Chandler: They couldnt be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Ross: Hey, I helped you find Waldo!
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Rachel: Im having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
Chandler: I have no idea.
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
RACHEL: Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.
Joey: Im sorry man, I didntIm-Im sorry. Im sorry. (Goes over and comforts him.)
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.
Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.
Robert: Well, Im from California.
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know?
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Rachel: I know that. That's why I was getting married.
Monica: You can, I know you can!
Rachel: I don't think so.
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: I knew.
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Monica: Yeah, Ill have a scotch
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?
Phoebe: (sings) What I said you had...
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Ross: I tired attacking two women, did not work.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Ross: You look great. I, uh... I hate that.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Cowgirl: (interrupting) Can I just have the candy?
Chandler: Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry...
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?