words in movies
Rachel: I didn't know there were docks.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
All: I!
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Monica: I think youre done.
Rachel: Gimme an I!
EDDIE: I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think?
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no dont say but! No-no, buts never good! Lets just leave it at, you like me and I like you.
Rachel: Im so sorry.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
Tag: Wait! I think I see where youre going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? (Kisses her.)
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I love that but.
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldnt even have one!
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Phoebe: I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
Ross: What do I do now?
Ross: I did.
Ross: She said, "Thank you." I said, "I love you." And she said, "Thank you."
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
Drew: Oh, wait a second! I didnt say I wasnt free!
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
Ross: All right. All right, Im gonna do it!
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
Ross: I made fun of his accent.
Phoebe: Im telling it! Im telling it!
Phoebe: No. Im just, I wanna, I need to be alone.
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Monica: (shyly) I dont know.
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Rachel: Well, I
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Emily: Ive uh, Ive come to talk to Ross.
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
CHANDLER: No actually, I was just going for colorful.
Emily: I was going to call him, but
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Emily: Ross, I love you!
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Joey: I think youre right.
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: I cant believe no one believes me!
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: No, but Im gonna!
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.